Rice Bunnies ✈

All fixed now.

I guess the long depression has fades away quick. I feel cured and repaired somehow. The only thing is missing inside my beatingheart is him, but I’ll wait for him, and its a promise. But the thing is I think I may getting these butterflies towards someone am not sure of it, but all I just want him as a friend. He is such a jerkface, I swear he is so mean when he picks on me, and at the sometime he act such a dork. Well all I want to do is right now is get to know him and what’s beneath him. I’m not into the whole rush type of a feeling, because all I know if I do I’ll end up back on the same page, and I don’t want that anymore.  Right now am just taking the long road and no more short cuts on meeting the guy for me. Like journey and a long adventure road trip to see what will happens when your finish with, and what you accomplish seeing the beautiful view. I need to keep my mouth quiet from everyone because I may end up being that annoying girl who falls to easy and I don’t want that.

I hope I will make my own fairytales, well its not like a fairytale its better. I believe life is amazing even through the scares and pain you go through you’ll found your very own happiness. Sure people may say life is nothing like a fairytale and everything doesn’t last long. Well their wrong! You just have to believe what you had found. Cherish it, treasure it, and waterit so it grows even more you can’t even image. So you build what you had and someone has knocks it down, and what do you do? Don’t just sit there and do nothing about, build it again, and who knows someone will help you build what has been broken. You’ll found something even more better than you ever known, never give up life, because you only can only live once. It’s okay have some tears and pain along the way where humans we all have feelings and were imperfection. I think its better than trying to be perfect, but to succeed. Well that’s what I believe and stand up too. 

You’ll always be adore by someone I have believes that. There someone out there watching over you and see how strong are you even all the scares that they left you. You still get up in your two own feet and face the world, even it takes to craw.You wake up looking at the mirror saying how much you put into your life, how lucky your here,even you gone through hell, and how you found your key to your happiness. You’re still here standing, living, and breathing. Whatever goes along the way don’t ever give up. If you fall, there’s someone out there have a hand, and to push you back up. You’re not alone. Just look in the mirror say I can do it I can make it through today.

Well, that’s all I have to say okay bye byes for now. Write back soon.

- Love you always Rice Bunnies ✈ ♥

Let’s play pretend.

These days I been still quiet underneath and sure I may seems fine but am not. I spend time with my new best friends a whole lot these days and still don’t don’t feel any better. The only thing is giving a lot of time with them keeps me away from home from thinking a lot. When I get home I feel empty inside again and all I can do is lay in my cradle. I honestly trying to fight this feeling but it won’t quit. I know identify that some people around me cares for me, but inside like a heavy weight is in my heart.  I just blank out when I was with my beloved friends and I didn’t mean too. It just suffocates me inside to see the people around me seeing me like this so I all can do is play pretend to them. Some of my heart feels left out from the world out there.  Like am not existed in their own world.  The other day I cried myself to sleep and crying didn’t work making feel any better. I wanna keep people around me happy so I smile with to but pretending am happy with them. I dislike vetting on them, it does give waves to others, and I know I don’t mean to, so I breakoff of that.

I’ve been eating myself off when am depressed like this. Like a bucket of ice cream I finish.  I swear I think I may get fat soon. But guess what happen eating out these day got me sick, but am fine I think.  Like yesterday in the morning I was clearing out my throat when I found blood in the sink I think its okay just a little blood but by the night while showering cleaning my nose I found blood in my hands I rush out and found I am bleeding from my nose. I overdo my thinking and watch too much Korean drama worried. So I just stand there all froze up and shaking, while the blood still rushing down. But I am fine now I think. But still things keep on consistently of thinking of stuff.  I can’t believe it I am in this long depression of mine. Today I wanted to sleep the whole day without waken from my reality I am in, just dreaming into my fantasy. I wish I can be sleeping beauty I can escape this world of mine.

I wished it rain more because all I can see is sunshine on my window and I don’t like it. Well not in the moment of time. I feel like going to beach when there’s a stormy weather and I don’t care its cold because that’s how my heart feels like lately.  COLD and Crumble like. I feel some parts of my heart feels crushed and I don’t know how to put it all into pieces. Well that’s all inside thoughts for the days that had went by. 

- Love you always ♥ Rice Bunnies ✈ ♥

“What is love?

What is love? Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, is your voice caught within your chest? It isn’t love, it’s like. You can’t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right? It isn’t love, it’s lust. Are you proud and eager to show them off? It isn’t love, it’s pride. Do you want them, because you know they’re there? It isn’t love, it’s loneliness. Are you there, because it’s what everyone wants? It isn’t love, it’s loyalty. Are you there, because they kissed you or held your hand? It isn’t love, it’s low confidence. Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don’t want to hurt them? It isn’t love, it’s pity. Do you belong to them, because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? It isn’t love, it’s infatuation. Do you pardon their faults, because you care about them? It isn’t love, it’s friendship. Do you tell them everyday that they’re the only one you think of? It isn’t love, it’s a lie. Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake? It isn’t love, it’s charity. Does you heart ache and break when they’re sad? Then it’s love. Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain elation pulls you close and holds you there? Then it’s love. Do you accept their faults, because it’s apart of who they are? Then it’s love. Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully with no regret? Then it’s love. Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? Think about it for a second…